soapbox

the deceit of fruit.

2012-02-07T11:35:00.002-05:00

i just ate an orange.

i shouldn't have been able to eat that orange; i bought it 2 weeks ago. but it was actually still underripe. i washed it, peeled it, and then had to wash my hands again because they were covered with wax.

as far as i can tell, most apples and citrus fruit sold in u.s. supermarkets is waxed.

i remember the first time a british friend went shopping with me. he exclaimed at the size and shininess of the apples. i said, "oh, they're covered in wax."

the fruit gets waxed for 2 reasons. 1) to keep it looking nice. wax seals the pores in the skin and smooths it out, making the fruit look shiny, uniform, and therefore attractive. and 2) to keep it from spoiling (or as in the case of my orange, from even getting ripe). because fruit is picked so far away from its selling location, it gets waxed to prevent air from carrying molds and bacteria into the fruit and spoiling it.

1) is the one that bothers me more. i can understand needing to wax fruit because it needs to be shipped from florida or california or washington to the other side of the country. but waxing the fruit changes the perception of what fruit should look like. we only see huge, over-irrigated, underripe, shiny, gleaming fruit. i have no idea what a non-industrial-farmed orange looks like. i do know what real apples are supposed to look like because we had 2 apple trees in our backyard when i was a kid.

but our food is as carefully curated for appearance as works of art in a museum. not only is this weird, but it makes us even more ignorant of what we eat, what we put in our bodies. the huge, waxed orange moves me just a little further from one reality into another one where appearance is carefully controlled and manufactured.

hm.

oh, and happy new year.

more winter holidays.

2011-12-31T12:38:00.004-05:00

last stop before slogging through the dark and cold and wet that is winter.

gifts have been given, food has been eaten. 2 more days of vacation left (class starts again on monday). oh, and *sigh* the koph is in the middle of "hannukah." it starts with a (c)het, which makes the "channukah" transliteration even less appropriate.

i feel like there should be something to say at the end of another year, but i pretty much already said it for this year.

i will say that when 2011 began, i had no idea it would end here.

this year does apparently mark the lowest number of posts on this blog. i'm not sure anyone read is anymore anyway, but i apparently used to have more to say. maybe everything i have to say these days goes into my papers.

well. happy new year.

happy hannukah.

2011-12-20T20:36:00.003-05:00

yes, now that i can read hebrew, i know it starts with a koph, but "channukah" just looks weird to me for some reason.

(speaking of semitic languages, i got an a- in syriac. yay!)

anyway. it's not for dinner tonight, because it's too much work, but here's a recipe:

latkes

3-4 potatoes suitable for frying (i like yukon golds, but russets are the classic frying potato)
1 small or 1/2 large yellow onion
1 cup matzo meal
2 eggs
salt, pepper, and parsley to taste
lots of oil for frying

1. peel the potatoes.

2. grate the onion into a bowl.

3. grate the potatoes on top of the onion to keep the fumes from making everyone cry.

4. beat the eggs and add them with the salt and pepper to the onion-potato mixture. mix well.

5. add the matzo meal a little at a time until the mixture is thick and there is not too much liquid in the bottom of the bowl anymore.

6. pour a tablespoon or two of oil into a frying pan and heat over medium to medium-high heat. there should not be a standing pool of oil; latkes just get pan-fried, not deep-fried.

7. scoop big spoonfuls of the potato mixture into the frying pan and flatten to make patties. when the latkes are crispy on one side, flip over and fry until crisp on the other side. remove to a plate lined with paper towels to drain. continue scooping, adding more oil as necessary until all the latkes are made.

eat! applesauce and sour cream are the traditional toppings.

done.

2011-12-19T17:07:00.003-05:00

another semester over. now just the pins-and-needles of waiting for grades.

not only but also: i have been given a contact for a ph.d. w00t, i think. we will be meeting some time in the new year.

happy thanksgiving.

2011-11-27T20:12:00.001-05:00

i think i may have recovered from the food coma.

no black friday shopping this year; we went to visit mom's family and had a second dose of holiday food.

zzz...

oh. i have a paper to write.

movement.

2011-11-16T10:37:00.002-05:00

i don't believe it's the middle of november already. this is crazy.

we moved a few weeks ago. still haven't sold the damn house; it's being rented by people who are paranoid and wanted a place near the hospital for their new baby.

so we're renting a loft apartment. it's a nice location, 3 blocks from his office, 2 blocks from the subway, 2 blocks from a supermarket.

urban supermarkets are weird things. on one hand, they tend to drive small, locally-owned corner stores out of business. on the other hand, those small, locally-owned corner stores tended to be really expensive and not stock much in the way of fresh fruits and vegetables, or raw meat, or anything not already procesed and cooked somewhere industrial. so now food is cheaper and better quality, and there's way more healthy selections. but more the neighbourhood's money is going to some national chain somewhere. it's nice to be living within walking distance of a supermarket, though, instead of having to drive 20 blocks to a shitty one that was built out in the ghetto because that's where land is cheap.

i think the cat still isn't sure about the new place. he spent the first couple days camped out in his litter box. also, the problem with a loft apartment is that there are no doors, except the front door and the bathroom door, so there's nowhere we can put things to keep them out of his reach. he's currently sitting on my desk and sniffing the bills. not chewing on them yet, thankfully, but the bills used to be in the office in the old place which had a door and he could be kept out. he can also, for the first time in the 7 years we've owned him, spend the night on our bed, which he is really happy about. us, not so much. cats don't sleep through the night like people do (or are supposed to). getting stepped on at 3am isn't great when you have an exam the next morning.

speaking of changes, i've also transferred schools. i think i'm done with change for this year, seriously. can i have a boring year next year? new place to live, new school, new job, new furniture (we should seriously buy stock in ikea), new bank... shit. i want a boring, uneventful couple of months. i am feeling a little more confident when i say i want to do a ph.d. in ancient literature nowadays, though, so the transfer seems to have done that much good already (a big part of the reason i'm doing a professional master's instead of a ph.d. now is because i don't know what i want to be when i grow up).

the other thing i'm really liking about living in the city is mass transit. i know, isn't that weird? but i don't like driving; it stresses me out. i think i overdosed on driving this summer when i drove my sister to phoenix. now i can take the subway and/or train practically everywhere. and the really nice thing about taking mass transit in the city is that everyone does it. out in the 'burbs, it's seen as a thing for poor people who can't afford a car (that someone might not want to have a car doesn't seem to cross many people's minds). in the city, at least in an east coast city, it's everyone: kids, students, poor people, downtown professionals, tourists, and so on. it's kind of an equalizer. i won't say it builds community, despite the often literal rubbing shoulders; most people tend to be quiet and not make eye contact. but at least there's no hands clenched on the wheel, trying to avoid assholes in trucks, breathing exhaust fumes, trapped in a module of steel and glass, and losing several hours a day of productive time. now i can sit on the train and read and do homework. we're going to sell one of the cars. yay. and i guess there is a kind of community feel to mass transit... you're all riding together. it's ok to ask someone for directions, or which train goes where, or am i on the right platform? i always have to wonder about the panhandlers, though. wouldn't it have been smarter to spend your two bucks on food than on entrance to the subway platform where you ask people for quarters for food?

so yeah. life in the city. too much change. too much new shit. i'm about at capacity for this stuff right now.

facebook = reification.

2011-09-29T15:10:00.004-04:00

i probably ought to start off by saying that i am still boycotting facebook, but i have been trying out google+ this summer, so i have acquired some familiarity with the whole social media phenomenon. i have also been observing the facebook habits of others from the outside, as is the proper researcher stance (that was a joke). also, i apologize in advance for the ridiculous language in the following post. i've been at school all day, reading philosophy, and the language is infectious.

i have come to the following conclusion: for many people who use facebook, especially those under the age of 30 (the so-called millenial generation), it is the offline world which is more or less unreal, and things are only real when posted or transcribed online, and especially when they are commented on or noticed by "friends." this is contra the usual usage where things happen "on the internet" and "in real life." real life is now facebook, and things that happen offline are merely feeder material for the self-curated online presence.

the glib internet meme "pics or it didn't happen" is demonstrative of this, i think. it is an extremely ironic statement in an age when we are all so aware of the ease of manipulation of digital images. and yet still, somehow, putting a picture of an event online is testimony to its veracity, to its very existence. a thing is not a thing unless it is online for others to see.

but i think facebook takes this to another level. with the obsession of the number of friends one has, and the posting of all life events, regardless of their possible standing in posterity, the nexus of these two elements becomes the location of reality. i think the very compulsion to post images and status updates that record any and all states and events in life is what makes people feel real and connected to a community somehow.

it is pretty much agreed that humans are social creatures. autism is a disorder precisely because it removes from a human the basic need to be in community with other human beings. this is fairly obvious from the anguish parents feel the need to post online about (again, posting online) even children diagnosed with the mildest forms of the spectrum.

however, as we labour under the desperate gasps of a dying modernity, individualism rules the day (i also happen to believe that this is modernity, not postmodernity and that the postmodern project has failed, but that's the subject for another post when i'm feeling more depressed). we are all our own subjects, distressingly separated and cut off from other autonomous subjects. it is in the online communication that we can merge the need for community and our inherited individualism. moreso, it is in the recognition of the artifacts of lives online that people feel truly real.

i'm still going to boycott facebook.

inconveniences.

2011-09-13T11:26:00.002-04:00

i just realized it is september and i cannot undertake my annual reading of LotR (i always start in september, get to Frodo's departure by sept 22, weathertop by oct 6 and then just read to the end) because my copies of the novels are packed away in storage because no one has bought my house.

bah. we need to move so i can get my books back.

out west.

2011-09-07T18:36:00.008-04:00

i gotta say, eisenhower had a wonderful idea with those interstates. they may let you "drive across the country without seing anything" but i tell you, there isn't a lot to see. the craziest thing about the west/southwest is how flat everything gets and consequently how far you can see, even if there isn't a lot there. i am used the horizon being bounded by hills and mountains. storms roll sluggishly in from the west, first clouds, and then later rain.

out there it is so flat, you can see the storms miles away. the clouds seem to be dragging curtains of rain across the landscape. and when you have the cruise control set at 90mph, you run into those storms quicker than you would think :)

the rest of the pics from the trip are here.

7 states so far...

2011-08-31T08:52:00.002-04:00

they get bigger out here.

drove through pennsylvania, the northern tip of west virginia, and half of ohio mostly in the dark. nothing to report there, other than that john digweed's bedrock 11 disc 1 is good for staying awake while driving.

southern illinois is the most boring so far. there is seriously nothing there. indiana at least had curves in the highway. and indianapolis. skyscrapers! civilization!

on the other hand, then you get to st. louis. i was actually kind of disappointed in the mississippi river up here, but the arch is pretty cool up close, and there's a nice park around it. the dog had fun.

so far only driven through oklahoma in the dark. first impression: flat.

we'll see what happens the rest of the trip.

go west, young... person.

2011-08-29T12:51:00.003-04:00

in a few hours, i am leaving to drive my sister to phoenix, az to start her new job.

there's a reason they're called "flyover states" i'm pretty sure, being that i've only ever flown over them before. now i will be driving through them.

4 days with my sister and her 75lb labrador retriever.

it's going to be an experience, at least.

earthquake.

2011-08-23T16:29:00.002-04:00

i find it deeply ironic that i never felt one in any of my visits to the west coast, but now one hits while i'm at home.

on the other hand, given the amount of time i spend here, i suppose statistics are in favour of it. still very weird. i wasn't sure what was happening, and then afterwards, i thought, was that an earthquake?

yes. yes, it was.

it even woke up the cat.

slippery slope.

2011-08-12T16:52:00.002-04:00

i used to have a phone that was just a phone.

then we discovered texting is better than calling in many circumstances.

and i started syncing my calendar to my phone.

then i went back to school and discovered mobile email is useful when you're not at home for 11 hours a day.

and so is web, because you can check weather and train schedules. and read things when you're waiting for the train.

now i have an android smartphone >_<

unintended consequences.

2011-07-25T16:53:00.002-04:00

saturday i was bagging my own groceries at the store, and finally an employee walked over to help. she promptly picked up the bag with the pie in it that i had carefully laid on its side to keep the pie flat and turned it vertical in the cart. i was like, "um, there's a pie in there, it's supposed to be on its side."

she said, "oh, you clearly know what you're doing," and walked away.

i was thinking to myself, yeah, and i can do this better than 90% of the people here because it was almost my first job. i did work in a grocery store in high school, starting as a bagger an chekcker like everyone, and eventually ending up in the bakery.

it wasn't my first job, though. that dubious honour goes to a job my mom got me when i was 14, working at a dry cleaner's for $5/hour cash under the table.

see, mom wanted me to go to work early. i guess to instill some kind of work ethic in me and help me learn the value of a dollar and a day's work.

i have spent most of my adult life trying to avoid working and figuring out how to get paid to go to school for the rest of my life.

welcome to summer.

2011-07-05T10:01:00.000-04:00

i have 9 mosquito bites.

new jersey is a dangerous place.

2011-06-23T14:51:00.001-04:00

"so now i am off to the doctor to get my turbuculosis test checked and start the hepatitis b vaccine series."

"are you going somewhere?"

"princeton."

still angry.

2011-06-15T21:05:00.002-04:00

this has been going on for several months, and i have not yet made a post about it because it is making me angry and i was hoping it would go away.

several republican governors and members of various legislative bodies have decided that cutting funding to education would be a good way to balance budgets in this not-quite-post-recession era.

i'm going to say this as simply as possible: cutting public education is anti-democracy.

i wish i could engage in wild conspiracy speculation, but part of me is cynical enough to think it really is just short-sightedness.

however. a democracy needs an educated public to function. that's all there is to it. if your unwashed masses can't think critically, read at more than a third grade level, and understand statistics, you don't have a functioning democracy. you might have an oligarchy, or a plutocracy, but you don't have a democracy.

while i'm ranting, education isn't job training either, so mr. president, you can shut the fuck up about needing to graduate more engineers. no one needs to do multinational corporations' job training for them. their job is to train workers. the job of education - primary, secondary, and tertiary - is to educate citizenry who are able to use the limits of their natural intelligence.

admittedly, the united states as a country is anti-intellectual, so everything that's going on fits right in and no one really cares. except me, apparently. and this is my soapbox, and what else is the internet for?

besides cats, of course. i have no objection to cats.

new car feature.

2011-05-30T12:02:00.001-04:00

forget all those fancy things like remote start. what i want is a car that, while turned off, detects rain and closes its own windows.

news.

2011-04-29T07:39:00.003-04:00

yesterday, my "application status" for transferring to princeton theological seminary changed from "your application is being reviewed by the committee" to "you have been accepted!"

i thought the inclusion of the exclamation point was cute.

i've had mostly good experiences at palmer, but i was an outlier in their student body to begin with, and starting in the fall, they are changing their curriculum to make me even less of a fit. since i have two years left to go, i figured applying for a transfer to another school wasn't a bad idea.

so i will be spending the next two years at princeton and receive my master of divinity there.

this was a pretty tough decision, made partly more difficult by having been in this exact same place about 10 years ago. mcgill decided to get rid of their classics department because it didn't have enough students to make it financially viable. unfortunately for me, i was majoring in classics at the time. i remember doing the research about transferring to other schools with the tension building in my shoulders. it was literally painful to think about transferring. in the end i didn't, partly because i had 1 year left at mcgill and would have had 2 at any other school. in retrospect, that might not have been the best decision i made - my last year at mcgill was my worst academically, emotionally, physically...

on the other hand, i did learn something from it. i learned when to run away. so about a month ago, i applied to princeton. i have, naturally, been ridiculously stressed out since then, but now at least some of that stress is relieved. the other difference about this situation is that i would have 2 years left, whatever school i went to. and there were some people who thought i should have gone to princeton from the beginning.

so. princeton. huh.

now we just need to get the house sold, and life will be completely overhauled. eek.

alternative uses for hebrew textbooks.

2011-04-28T14:46:00.002-04:00

killing yellowjackets that built a nest outside your window and get in the office.

kicking and screaming.

2011-04-18T11:46:00.002-04:00

so this post (and several more) is way overdue. life has kind of sucked for a while.

anyway.

about 2 months ago, my phone started getting stupid. it was kind of a halfway smartphone, a nokia e71x running symbian 60. it had all of about 2 apps, which didn't bother me. it surfed the web fine with a real browser, which was something of a novelty when i got it. the only real main issue i had with it was google refused to make a gmail app for it, and i couldn't sync my calendars live over the air. instead i had to remember to do it manually from my mac via bluetooth.

then, suddenly, it lost the ability to cross-reference incoming text messages with the address book. all text messages were coming in labelled with just the sending phone number. which was fine when it was his and i had memorized it, but i was sending a lot of "my phone has gone stupid, who is this?" text messages back to people because i had no idea who they were or what they were talking about. grr, etc.

so i log into my account and discover, hey, i'm eligible for a new phone upgrade. w00t.

i was thinking maybe a blackberry. he said he thought it would be the best option for me. i am just not a fan of the iphone. not that i'm an anti-apple person, i like my macbookpro and ipod nano just fine. but i don't like the iphone. the touchscreen feels weird under my fingers and i like to keep my email accounts separated, which apple disapproves of.

so i'm wandering around the store, playing with some of the demos, and i see this motorola phone running android. it looks interesting. one of my co-workers loves his droid. and it's all googly, so i know i can get my email on it. and not only my regular email, but school went google too a while back, so i could use it to check both, which i thought might be helpful, since i'm a TA this semester and i am not giving out my phone number. and it's smaller than the blackberry torch.

also, much to my surprise, the sales guy seems to know what he's talking about when it comes to technology, and while he's an iphone fan, he says that people have been having problems with the blackberry torch and complaining about it.

so i buy the motorola atrix. somehow, when it rings up, it's $50 less than he quoted me, but i'm not arguing.

then i go home and set it up and start googling it.

turns out, it's a brand new phone and i got it - again, somehow - before the quoted launch date on the internet. wtf? i'm an early adopter??

i can say, having used it for a bit now, it's pretty cool. it uses different glass than the iphone and doesn't feel so weird under my fingertips. and i'm getting email and calendar updates on the fly, which is pretty cool. it flashes a little green LED at me when i have email or a text message. i like it. and you can remove the battery, unlike the iphone, which was really nice when the fingerprint scanner/unlock button decided working. i started freaking out, all "oh shit, my brand new phone has a hardware issue," but always the first thing to try is a hard reboot. which you can't do on an iphone. pulled the battery out of my atrix, popped it back in, turned the phone on, and hey, it's working again.

i'm not into apps, so i've only downloaded like, 3. got the sony reader app, so all of my purchased ebooks are on the phone, but the screen is tiny and bright, so reading them kind of sucks. the southwest airline app is pretty cool, though. we took a vacation to boston last month and i checked into our flight home while laying in bed in the hotel. got in the 'A' boarding group too (if you've ever flown southwest, you know what that means. if you haven't, just know it's a Good Thing).

also, the browser crashes occasionally, but as android is based on linux, i just have to go into the applications menu and force quit. yay.

so yeah. apparently, i'm an accidental early adopter. huh. i have joined the twenty first century. or something.

i hate march.

2011-03-28T18:10:00.002-04:00

yes, there's been a lot going on and no, i haven't blogged about anything.

i fucking hate march. suicide watch month almost over.

for the time being: my parents and my brother are safe in tokyo. he lives on the southwest tip of honshu and has been mostly unaffected by the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear power station repercussions. will be picking mom and dad up friday night.

when is it going back to 70F? seriously.

march. bah.

deception.

2011-02-20T20:41:00.002-05:00

so earlier this week, it was sunny, with temperatures in the 60s F. i was driving around with my sunroof open.

now they are forecasting 1-3 inches of snow tonight.

i know, i know, it's still winter. that doesn't make me any happier about it. what the hell is going on, getting a taste of spring in the middle of february?

damn you, weather!

i suppose on the plus side, we've been cleaning out our house in order to get it ready to sell. i found all my warm, thick winter sweaters yesterday.

i have been remiss.

2011-02-02T20:19:00.002-05:00

so, it's already wednesday. and apparently, i forgot to tell people that i got a new laptop last saturday. whoops.

my sister lost her job in the fall, but just started a new one at the beginning of the year. her new job gave her a mac. and the only computer she has at home is an ancient dell that dad bought her when she was in college (i don't know why i got laptops and she got a clunky desktop. i assume it's what she asked for). so we agreed that she would buy my old macbook and we would set it up for her and teach her how to use it.

so i now have a brand new, shiny macbook pro. the smallest, cheapest one, admittedly, made cheaper by apple's edumacation pricing. there are some weirdnesses to it, like why did apple change the functions of the F-keys? and the tap-to-click functionality of the giant mouse pad/button comes turned off by default, another wtf? and oh, there's a difference between mini-dvi and mini-display-port? well, shit. that's two more adapters i had to buy and i couldn't use my nice 19" lcd monitor until yesterday.

but in general, it's a nice upgrade over a macbook. the backlit keyboard alone is almost enough to justify the price. and the 4gb of ram ought to make running windows on it a lot easier, so maybe i'll finally get rid of my giant gaming box that i keep for playing the odd windows game and writing papers in wordperfect (i hate word. hate, hate, hate).

if a cheap white macbook lasted me 3 1/2 years with only a ram upgrade, i'm hoping this one will last me at least as long. so, through the end of this degree (2 1/2 years left, including the semester that starts saturday), and then some. i guess my next computer will be bought just before i start my ph.d.?

and i'm an addict.

2011-01-27T14:45:00.002-05:00

i've been saying it facetiously for years, but i really am addicted to caffeine. when i get up in the morning, "is there coffee?" is usually the first thing i say. if there isn't, anxiety levels shoot up. when i go somewhere else that isn't home, i have to plan how to get coffee in the morning before i can go to sleep, or i'll be thinking about it all night.

admittedly, there are much worse things to be addicted to, and as addictions go, caffeine is pretty mild. plus i like coffee, tea, chocolate, and coke zero. i'm not about to try to cure myself.

but it's an interesting insight into the mental state of addiction. the amount of preoccupation and anxiety i have that revolves around getting that morning cup of coffee is a little bit alarming. i remember being late to class back when i was an undergrad and forgetting which class i would be on the way to because i had run out the door without coffee. these days, i refuse to drive in the morning if i haven't had it because i don't trust myself to a) remember where i'm going and how to get there and b) remember to do things like stop at intersections or start turning soon enough. but these, combined with my aforementioned obsession of the first "hit of the day," are indicators of a pretty thorough-going dependency.

i suppose since i've given up smoking i need to have something to replace it. there's a certain kind of ennui and world-weary nonchalance that goes with the acceptance of an addiction. while some people obsess over control and find the idea of an addiction abhorrent, i don't mind it. what i minded about cigarettes, mostly, was that lung cancer is a very painful and messy way to die. anyone who tells you smoking is not pleasurable is either lying through their teeth or has never done it. the addiction bit never bothered me. i don't mind being pushed around by chemicals in my brain. that's what they're there for anyway.

happy new year.

2011-01-06T13:09:00.002-05:00

yes, a bit late. but still.

they have inaugurated curbside recycling this year! i am way too excited about this. i have already gone out and bought the bin, and i tugged it out to the curb this morning. it was still there when i got back from work, but decorously emptied and placed upside down.

the township hasn't had any recycling, and it makes me almost sick to think about all the metal and glass and plastic that i've seen thrown out in my neighbourhood the past several years.

so. happy new year. to the earth as well.

precipitation.

2010-12-26T15:42:00.001-05:00

a white day-after-christmas just isn't the same.

on the other hand, no work for 2 days, yay!

winter.

2010-12-25T12:02:00.002-05:00

the sun is not dead.

happy winter holidays. the festival of lights was early this year. lunar calendars vs solar calendars.

holidays are funny things. winter holidays seem especially centered around the weather; everyone's winter holiday is about light and fattening food to get you through the dark and the cold. mmm... fried things and cookies.

disease.

2010-12-13T17:36:00.001-05:00

i'm sick.

i'm not supposed to be sick. finals are this week! i can't get sick until after finals. bah.

i am so tired.

2010-12-08T10:32:00.000-05:00

stupid septa left me in the sub-freezing temperatures last night for over an hour and a half.

rrg. zzz.

disappointment.

2010-11-27T21:00:00.002-05:00

so, i discovered today that my local branch of the public library is loaning out ebooks, which work on both my sony reader and his nook. and i have an account, and an online pin and everything. so i was thinking this is kind of cool, because the actual meatspace branch is pretty tiny, and ugly, and doesn't really have much of a selection.

unfortunately, their fiction ebook section appears to consist solely of harlequin romances. which... i don't know about you, but i don't think i'd read one of them, even if it was free.

i guess it's back to the sony store. foiled again.

happy thanksgiving.

2010-11-25T10:33:00.002-05:00

it's snowing.

snow on thanksgiving means rain on christmas. it's my own little superstition.

on the other hand, 2 1/2 lbs of mashed potatoes have been made.

zombie plants.

2010-11-22T18:18:00.003-05:00

is it just me, or do brussels sprouts look like little brains?

they are yummy roasted, though. yay fall.

student life.

2010-11-01T09:00:00.002-04:00

i have been awake for 24 hours.

uploaded my paper at 5:30 this morning. it's due at noon.

i hate forced drafts. i don't write drafts. the reason i didn't go to sleep last night is because the actual due date for the paper is next tuesday and i totally blanked on the fact that a stupid fucking draft was due today.

hmf.

mid-semester break.

2010-10-19T16:01:00.002-04:00

too much thinking.

apple pie has been made.

i even managed not to cut any fingers this time. i should really spring for one of these.

welcome to fall.

2010-09-27T17:44:00.001-04:00

it is pretty damn disgusting out.

one bit of weather that i really hate is when it is warm and yet rainy. so you either wear a jacket of some kind and stay dry-ish but swelter, or you get soaked.

seeing as i'll be in class for 6 hours tomorrow, i'm thinking i'll pick the former option, but damn. come on, weather. if it's going to be fall, it might as well start getting cold.

(and then when it gets cold, it's time to snow. take notes.)

yom kippur thoughts.

2010-09-18T17:05:00.000-04:00

i broke my fast with hallah and butter (he bought one downtown from a jewish bakery yesterday).

and i was sitting at the table by myself and flipping though the sales flyers that come in the mail, i thought, what's the point of all this stuff compared with the simple pleasure of having bread to eat when you're hungry?

insiders.

2010-09-09T09:44:00.003-04:00

i have to say, i am disappointed (as usual) with the evangelical christian response to the idiot in florida who apparently doesn't read his own holy book, much less the quran.

there is no condemnation.

oh, there's a bit of "please don't do this" and "this is a bad decision" but no one in the evangelical christian world is saying, "this is wrong." no one. and this is ridiculous.

the evangelical conservative right in this country has told itself for years that it's a persecuted minority (thank God it's a minority but any claim to persecution could not be much farther from the truth). they've developed this kind of insider protection instinct that is leading them, in this case (and in other cases), to not be able to call out someone on a distinctly unchristian act. christianity in general in the west has forgotten what it really means to be a minority, and the protestant arrogance that disdains the writings of the patristics has led to a skewed image of christianity's interaction with the wider world.

it's not only that, though. it's that our culture in general has developed an incapability to actually condemn or endorse anything. the "bad decision" rhetoric is impotent and ridiculous. yes, it is a bad decision to burn qurans, but even more so, it is an unchristian decision. and the inability of other pastors to call out this guy betrays christianity's own syncretism with modern individualism. one of my favourite quotes recently is from a rabbi who said, "Give me a break. Is there really a point to Rabbinic leadership if it does not come with value judgments?" any spiritual leader, anyone who wishes to think of him- or herself as a spiritual leader could learn from this.

burning qurans is wrong. it is unchristian. the end.

update: i am grateful to a friend for pointing me to this article.

false dichotomies.

2010-08-23T15:55:00.005-04:00

i had no intention of creating nearly back-to-back posts about islam, but i read this today and just got so angry.

it was that last section that is making my blood boil:

Despite some hurtful experiences in public, Nadia is content with her decision to wear niqab and says she feels a distinct difference in how men respect her now as opposed to her earlier days of low-cut shirts and formfitting pants.

after a whole fucking column about how the hijab is not about male power over female, guess what: it is. this is just enforcing the virgin-whore dichotomy (otherwise known as "women ain't nothin' but bitches and hos"), as if the only choices of clothing a woman has is either to dress like a slut or to cover everything so they don't distract men and aren't judged by men and don't tempt men. women are only judged by their sexual availability. in this structure, men still have all the power.

when i was a freshman student taking a film course, i thought "the gaze" was feminist bullshit. it's not. the insistance on covering to avoid the male gaze just highlights it all that much more. the hijab doesn't stop men from judging you by your body and appearance, as these women unfortunately found out.

the hijab is not empowering. it keeps the male power structure in place, it enforces it, and it caters to it.

i'm not going to make a statement about wearing it or not. if you want to wear the hijab because it makes you feel closer to god, that's fine. but i reject any argument that it empowers women.

cat5-to-usb converter.

2010-08-08T11:58:00.003-04:00

not quite what was expected.

iconoclasm.

2010-08-03T14:33:00.004-04:00

New York City's Landmarks Preservation Commission denied landmark status Tuesday for a building at the site of a proposed Islamic center and mosque near ground zero.

i think this was a good thing.

i spent the morning of september 11, 2001 fielding frantic phone calls from my (jewish) mother, who could not determine if her uncle and brother-in-law had been in the world trade center towers when the planes hit (they weren't, although their offices were), and online with my friends, one of whom was watching the towers come down from his office window a few blocks away.

i endorse the cordoba house project (no, it's not a mosque), to build a muslim-run community center a few blocks from ground zero, because i endorse the first amendment to our constitution.

if we allow fear and prejudice to overcome the values embodied in this statement, we are, quite frankly, proving al quaeda and the rest of the radical islamists right when they say the west is anti-islam and persecutes muslims.

a lot of the debate around the cordoba house project is centered on the symbolism of a muslim project near the location where radical muslims killed something over 2000 american citizens. the "con" side of the argument says that allowing the project to go forward will dishonour the memories of those who died that day. this is dangerous rhetoric, because it insists we live in the past. instead of moving forward with dialogue and mutual respect (including for the american citizens who were muslim who died in the twin towers), they want to wallow in their grief, pick at their wounds, and generally whine about what "they" did to "us."

i am arguing is it a greater dishonour to those who died that day to insist on making their place of death a symbol of our victimization and fear of the other instead of a symbol of peace, strength, and respect for our fellow human beings. if we really want to claim any kind of victory, we should be pushing forward for the openness and interaction that the radical islamists hate so much. to oppress muslims in our own country and insist on outlawing their religion and practises is to first of all be guilty of the same intellectual violence that the radicals practise, but also to open the door for more oppression and to become victims of our own fear and therefore of the radicals themselves instead of gaining power over them. the strength of oppression is no strength at all, but panicked weakness.

what's for dinner?

2010-07-13T19:15:00.002-04:00

this one takes advantage of a lot of the stuff in season right now.

for the kabobs:

1/2 lb meat (i used chicken tonight, but beef or lamb would work equally well. i suppose you could use turkey, but that would be pushing the authenticity limits)
1 green pepper
1 onion
1 pt cherry tomatoes
extra virgin olive oil
red wine vinegar
fresh oregano, basil, and parsley
3 cloves of garlic (i like garlic)
salt and pepper
skewers (i have bamboo, you could easily use metal. i've even heard of using the stems from the herbs)

for the rice:
1 cup uncooked rice (i used basmati because that's the only rice i happen to keep in the house)
whole cardamoms, coriander seeds, peppercorns, and a bay leaf
butter

1. cut the meat into roughly 1 inch cubes. crush the garlic and chop the herbs.

2. in a dish or plastic bag, mix together the oil, vinegar, herbs, garlic, salt, and pepper. put in the meat cubes to marinate.

3. make the rice. put a little butter in the pot you are going to use for the rice and turn the heat up to high. when the butter is melted and foamy, add the rice and stir it around until the grains are coated. then add 2 cups of water and the spices and cover. as soon as the water boils, turn the heat down to low.

4. cut the pepper and onion into 1 inch pieces.

5. thread the marinaded meat, onion and pepper pieces, and the whole cherry tomatoes onto the skewers.

6. cook the kabobs under a broiler at 400F or on a grill. if you use the grill, coat the kabobs in the marinade while cooking. i happened to use the broiler tonight, and i put some extra olive oil in the tray under the kabobs.

7. pull most of the spices out of the rice, especially the bay leaf. do not eat these. you will regret a mouthful of whole peppercorns or cardamom pods.

8. eat everything else. yay!

boom.

2010-07-05T10:58:00.002-04:00

i continue to be amazed that my cellphone actually takes decent pictures of fireworks.

resurfacing.

2010-06-21T13:26:00.000-04:00

i spent last week taking a class on sexuality. a semester in a week. craziness.

however i spent yesterday doing nothing, so i think the balance is coming back to my brain. we'll see what happens when all the information starts to percolate and meld with the rest of the stuff that's in there.

hopefully it will settle before my next class starts in july.

is it possible to learn too much?

a meditation on authorial intention.

2010-05-25T15:04:00.003-04:00

or, in defense of the literary critic.

literary criticism, and especially postmodern literary criticism, seems to be defended mostly by its practicioners and roundly given contempt by everyone else. it is often denigrated as "bullshit" or, more scathingly, as the critic reading him or herself into the author's work and not reading the author.

admittedly theories like "the death of the author" do not help this perception any.

as someone who has been trained in and practises literary criticism to a certain degree, it should not be surprising that i am defending it. but i do believe it is a valid method of inquiry, and it has important things to say. it is this belief that led me to where i am today, a graduate student. i started down this path one evening, standing under a tv monitor in the lobby where i was taking registrations for a conference and listening to the opening night speaker. he was condemning literary criticsm and postmodernism in general. at the time, i was only a few years out of my undergrad, which had heavily featured these theories, and as i was listening, i realized i was muttering at nearly every pause of the speaker, "no, that's wrong." i went and expressed my disagreement with one of the conference organizers, and 4 1/2 years later, i've just finished my first year in grad school. so i'm putting my money where my mouth is ;)

anyway. we've all seen cases (or we have if we follow this kind of thing) where a critic offers an opinion about what a book is about, or what ideas or themes or philosophies it might contain, and the author says, "no, that's all wrong." depending on who you like better, usually either you come away from the debate with the idea that the critic is an idiot or the author is a petulant control freak.

i would suggest neither of these are healthy.

is it not possible that both could be right? the author certainly had an intention in mind when writing (and only living authors have the ability to defend their intention), but intention is not everything. context, context, context. the author is a contextual being. the premise of literary criticism is that that context might inject itself into the work, whether the author meant to or not, whether the author was even aware of it or not. communication is a two-way street: you speak, i receive. you cannot, however, control what i receive. you might use certain strategies to avoid ambiguity, but your context will dictate certain things to you, and mine will dictate things to me.

let us take an example. an author writes a science fiction novel. a feminist critic reads the novel and declares it to be a boorish defense of patriarchy. the author protests there was no intention to talk about patriarchy one way or another in the novel. the critic points out settings, language, characterisations, and plot devices which point to a worldview which views patriarchy as beneficial. the author complains the critic is a feminist, so he or she must be reading his or her own ideology into the critique. the critic claims that it is merely his or her background in feminist ideology shows the characteristics in the novel, but they are there regardless.

both people are probably right. we must believe the author when he or she says the intention was not there. however, his or her philosophical stance will colour the novel. someone who believes men have a natural right to rule will not (unless trying very hard or possibly as a challenge) write a novel where, say, an all-female society is given a positive assessment. there may have been no intent to include gender views in the novel, but they will be there nonetheless, simply because they are the author's context.

at this point in the debate, the ethical thing is for the critic to accept the author's assertion of his or her own intentionality, but not necessarily to back down on the critique. sadly, too often in my experience, it is only the latter that happens. this is often easier because the author is dead (in the case of the literature i analyze, often long dead), and unable to contest the critic's reading. as valid as that reading is, i still think that the critic always ought to be prepared to admit that what he or she sees may not be what the author intended. however, this often gives power to the analysis. if the author did not intend the ideology betrayed in the writing, it means that it provides, perhaps, a clearer window into the author's context, society, culture, etc, since it is unshaped by concious intention. the conclusions of literary criticism are often accurate and valid. but they should also be humble.

see? i said i would come up with something interesting to post.

finals are over.

2010-05-21T17:18:00.001-04:00

i'll try to think of something interesting to say soon.

facebook.

2010-05-09T18:43:00.001-04:00

just say no.

current reading.

2010-04-19T20:47:00.003-04:00

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality
by Donald Miller

a friend lent this to me. it is... very rambly. my initial reaction was that it reminds me of a christian Catcher in the Rye. this was before i reached the spot in his book where he says he loves that book. so i guess my literary analysis skills are still up to snuff *grin*

it's a very... honest book. he's got his filters off, which is something unusual for a christian author.

no, you stupid cat, stop chewing on it, this isn't my book, i have to give it back!

spring.

2010-04-05T09:38:00.002-04:00

passover, easter, the equinox. flip-flops. allergies. not in that order.

allergies appear to be bad this year. either that, or i have one last cold.

back to school today after two weeks off. one more paper left to write (due tomorrow).

somehow the daffodils pre-empted the crocuses this year.

yeah, that's about it. happy spring.

consumption & current reading.

2010-03-25T13:31:00.003-04:00

for... er, the winter-gift-giving-holidays, he bought me a sony ebook reader ("touch edition" - i'd link to sony, but it's a terrible flash page). i says "holidays" because he went out and bought it something like 2 weeks before christmas, brought it home, wrapped it, and then decided i should open it two days later because he wasn't patient enought to wait until christmas. so call it my hannukah gift.

anyway. i had done some of the research and opted for the sony mostly because i spent $40 printing pdfs of journal articles for one of my papers last semester and decided that not only was the price ridiculous, but killing the trees was as well. the kindle and the nook (which wasn't out yet at the time) are both geared toward reading actual books, whereas i was going to use mine for research. and ironically, the sony was actually the most open model, handling pdfs natively (drm and no drm), word docs given word installed on the same machine, undrm-ed epub files, rentable-from-public-libraries epubs, drmed epubs, and all of google books.

it's been pretty nice, actually. i've been reading pdfs and word docs either downloaded for research or from my professors on the train on the way to class. the screen is a little glare-y, as most reviews note, but adjusting the angle slightly away from a direct light source solves the problem. i like the touchscreen, and i love being able to make notes and underline things with the included stylus.

i have also discovered that the sony ebook store carries all of jim butcher's stuff. i've been reading his dresden files for a couple years now, but he started another series recently. i broke down today and bought one. it was a surprisingly painless experience: choose the book, enter payment info into the sony reader software, and it downloads automatically. then, similar to the ipod, it authorizes your reader for the drm and transfers it over usb. i would, of course, prefer to have non-drm options, but i realize that's not terribly realistic yet, although it may be coming. i do have 12 un-drmed ebooks i got from tor's promotion a few years ago, which was an apparent success financially speaking. but since i have a sony reader, i might as well encourage more publishers to opt for sony's store over, say, amazon.

divide by zero.

2010-03-21T16:37:00.002-04:00

so coke has come out with new "portion controlled" 7.5oz cans. this makes sense for the high-fructose-corn-syrup-impregnated beverages.

but they've also come out with 7.5oz cans of diet coke and coke zero. how do i know? we got a free 8-pack of the coke zero cans yesterday due to a supermarket promotion.

now. a 12oz can of coke zero is 0 calories. a 7.5oz can of coke zero is... yes. 0 calories. so why go through the effort of "portion controlling" a zero-calorie beverage? we switched to coke zero a while ago, because it does taste more like real coke than diet coke (ew).

but i'm a little confused by the purpose of this product. unless it's for people like me, who can barely finish a 12oz can of coke (unless i'm deydrated or eating something salty). but given the whole no-calorie thing, what would prompt me to stop buying cases of 12 12oz cans, and instead buy 8 7.5oz cans? the financial difference is miniscule. the calorie difference is nonexistant. why did they bother?

winter cookery.

2010-02-25T21:25:00.002-05:00

it's snowing. again. another foot of snow is predicted by the end of the day tomorrow.

seriously. this is getting a bit ridiculous.

with all the snow and cold and stuff, i've been cooking things that only get cooked in winter. a chicken has been roasted, the meat is in the fridge, and stock is in the freezer (i put off writing the paper this time, so i actually got stock).

and now lasagne is in the oven. lasagne is one of those dishes that i really just can't cook in the summer. i don't know if it's the hour in the oven, or just the heaviness of the noodles and cheese. unfortunately, it means making it with dried herbs, but hey. nothing's perfect. i have my own meatless recipe that i made up a while ago. maybe i'll make this next time. if i can talk him into eating it.

snowmageddon.

2010-02-12T09:53:00.003-05:00

12" saturday, then 21" wednesday. wow. haven't seen snow like this since i left mcgill. this is a zoomed-in picture of the golf from yesterday morning before we dug out. the antenna was almost completely engulfed.

it was nice having a couple days off... kind of like an extra weekend :) school was cancelled and i telecommuted to work.

guess i should do some homework anyway.

click the picture for my collection from the last 2 days. i got to play with the "snow" mode on my camera.

winter.

2010-02-08T20:35:00.002-05:00

what the fucking fuck?

groundhog doesn't lie, i guess.

and i got the cars all dug out, too. i would probably love this if i didn't have a car, and a job, and wasn't in graduate school.

oh well. better get more firewood, i guess.

stupid weather.

2010-01-18T13:13:00.002-05:00

it rained all day yesterday and now it is sunny. the air pressure has changed.

my sinuses have been attempting to explode their way out of my skull since 3am.

ow.

happy new year.

2010-01-01T12:32:00.003-05:00

2010.

as someone pointed out last night, technically this is the last year of the decade, as there is no year 0. so save all those "top 10 of the decade" lists for one more year.

i hate being sick. this sucks.

on the other hand, i didn't get a burning candle spilled on me this year, so maybe 2010 will be better than 2009.

time to brace for winter. all the holidays are over.

merry christmas.

2009-12-25T12:13:00.002-05:00

yet another winter gift-giving holiday.

w00t, etc.

i'm not even awake yet ^_^

i don't know what proportion of you this is relevant too, but the 11pm christmas eve service last night came off really well. hopefully the podcast will be able to go up. it was just very, very cool.

time to wrap presents and make pancakes.

snow.

2009-12-20T11:39:00.002-05:00

holy shit, it snowed. quite a bit. although we didn't get as much as some people. still going to have to dig the car out, nevertheless.

following the advice of some friends, who were also snowbound last night, we made a fire and hot chocolate. yum.

1 heaping t unsweetened cocoa powder
2 level t sugar
(adjust to you preferred levels of sweetness and chocolateyness)

1. put into a mug and mix together.

2. pour in just enough milk to make a sludge. stir vigorously until all the cocoa is wet.

3. microwave for 30 seconds to melt the chocolate

4. stir the hot mixture again until it's more or less smooth

5. while stirring, fill up the mug with milk. microwave for 2 minutes.

completion.

2009-12-19T10:14:00.001-05:00

last paper finished last night. now it's just waiting to be taken to the post office (has to be postmarked by today).

first semester of graduate school completed successfully.

w00t. or something.

anyone know if starbucks is hiring?

happy hannukah.

2009-12-11T22:23:00.003-05:00

since i'm going to be making latkes for a party next week, we just went to dunkin' donuts tonight. sufganiyot they're not, but they are fried.

also, via wired comes this. i don't know whether to laugh or cry.

fuck google analytics.

2009-12-08T10:41:00.002-05:00

i am so sick of having firefox practically fucking hang because of google analytics. half the fucking time i try to load a webpage, i get the status bar stuck at "waiting for google analytics..."

yes i know, it's a great way to get info on your page visitors, stats, blah blah fucking blah. it's slow.

half the reason i started blocking ads was because i was getting sick of pages not being able to load because the damn browser was waiting for content from a third-party site.

come back tomorrow, and i'll tell you how i really feel ;)

cooking and papers.

2009-11-28T11:29:00.001-05:00

do not mix.

put the stockpot on, go upstairs, begin to write paper...

i do not have stock. i have... carbon.

whoops.

experiment

2009-11-22T21:15:00.004-05:00

i had both extra apples and extra pie dough. but not enough to make another pie.

this was the result. half pie, half dumpling. i'm calling it an individual deep-dish apple galette.

he ate it already. by all accounts, it was yummy. the pie itself turned out pretty well, except i forgot to dust the apples with a little extra sugar.

a suggestion.

2009-11-18T11:21:00.001-05:00

dear quaker oats,

2 words: caffeinated oatmeal.

thank you.

oikonomia.

2009-11-04T22:02:00.002-05:00

laws of the household indeed.

the problem with working for a completely donation-supported organization is that donations are one of the things people cut when times get tough.

as of december 1st, i will be officially underemployed.

one could argue i've been underemployed for years, but a bachelor degree in classics isn't exactly the beginning of the most lucrative career path.

as of january 1st, i lose my health insurance.

we have options, including the seminary itself, but the time crunch is making it fairly stressful.

i guess the bright side is that i'll have 10 hours more a week to dedicate to homework.

out of practise.

2009-10-12T20:21:00.001-04:00

note to self: when writing a paper, don't forget the concluding paragraph.

good thing it's not due until tomorrow.

edumatcation.

2009-09-14T14:07:00.002-04:00

i have now been a graduate student for a whole week.

i don't think it's quite sunk in yet.

and ikea is out of extra shelves for our bookcase. i'm going to need another one if classes keep going like this.

summer activities.

2009-08-13T12:31:00.002-04:00

or not.

yeah, it's been a while. it's actually been a pretty uneventful summer. right up until today.

my greek exam is tonight, 5:30-9pm. i've been studying off and on for most of the summer, when i haven't been reading the dresden files (just finished #8 last night). so yeah. my summer has been fantasy and greek. how exciting.

on the other hand, we're going to the beach on sunday for 3 days, so that will be nice. it's going to be the only vacation we get this summer.

of course, it's raining. the last time i took an exam in august, it was calculus, and i got caught in a downpour on the mile walk to campus from my apartment, got completely soaked, and failed the exam.

this time i have brought my hat! and a jacket. w00t.

days and acquisitions.

2009-06-28T18:16:00.002-04:00

so summer started last week. i was going to post in celebration of the solstice, but life started sucking. let's just say, i hate cars and need more sleep.

today is his birthday. so, logically, i got a new cellphone.

work with me here.

along with both cars breaking down last week, my cellphone also started to break. someone thought it would be neat to design a phone where one button handles both the select and cancel features. this is great, right up until it starts to detach itself, and your phone ends up in an infinite select-cancel-select-cancel loop.

as i think i've posted before, i'm very picky about my cellphone interfaces, and when faced with the necessity of replacing my phone, i couldn't help but go back to nokia. now i have too much phone. it has wifi. it browses the web. it text messages. it syncs (wirelessly!) with my mac (after downloading the appropriate plugin). but it's super-thin and not that big and actually fits comfortably in my pocket. i have joined the twenty-first century. or something. but damn, i love having a full qwerty keyboard back. don't let best buy sync your contacts for you, btw. i had to delete them all, download them from my old phone onto my mac, and sync them with the new phone. i don't know what software or device best buy uses, but it rendered my phonebook an incomprehensible garble with every single phone number categorized as "mobile." (note to nokia/symbian: have you ever considered letting someone re-categorize numbers along with just editing them?)

but it is synced and happy and useable now. and charging.

lest you think he was bereft on his birthday, he has received much birthday cash and bought new clothes. but clothes are not nearly as interesting as electronics ;)

return.

2009-06-17T08:33:00.002-04:00

macbook is back. it is also now running leopard with time machine so hopefully, if it ever dies again, restoring it willbe significantly simpler. i believe in backups, but backups are infinitely easier if they are done automatically by the computer itself.

applecare, btw, is worth every penny. not only did it take 2 days (not counting the weekend), but they also gave me a whole new topcase because the old one had cracked and the mouse button was coming unseated.

now to set up backups on my windows box.

insewerance.

2009-06-09T19:42:00.002-04:00

my mac is dead :(

well. not deaddead. but this morning while i was checking email, the harddrive started clicking, and when i rebooted it, i got the helpful folder-with-question-mark icon.

however, i have applecare on it, so all it took was a brief phonecall and a walk through the tech support script (they insisted i boot from a cd and see if the disk utilities included would find the drive), i have a support number and a shipping box on its way. he estimates i should have the mac back by friday or monday at the latest.

also luckily, everything was backed up, although in various places (photos, for example, are all still on the sd card in the camera). i need to get more assiduous about running my backup script. my excuse for not running it yesterday and almost losing a 7 page document (i emailed it to someone) is that i was also trying to not throw up at the time.

in the meantime, i have my windows box, and am now more than ever glad i bought that kvm.

they're even going to fix my mouse button.

home again.

2009-05-17T23:19:00.003-04:00

got home technically early this morning (1am). photos are up on flickr. enjoy.

vacation.

2009-05-11T18:02:00.003-04:00

leaving for LA wednesday morning for my brother's college graduation. since i've gone back to a five-days-a-week work schedule, and tuesday is now one of my days off, that means vacation started... 1 hour ago.

w00t.

government math.

2009-04-15T22:03:00.002-04:00

so, seeing as taxes were due today, we went through our forms a couple days ago and filled out our FAFSAs.

being me, of course, i had to go look into the whole process. i found another website that purports to show you the inner workings of the FAFSA calculation.

if they are correct, and i have no reason currently to believe they are not, the government's math is... fascinating. specifically that it is assumed, somehow, that rent/mortgage, insurance, transportation, food, and all utilities will somehow be less than $800 a month.

what. the. fuck? where in this country can you cover all that for less than $800/mo? seriously. because i might think about moving there. that is an insane number. it's not even a pretense at being realistic.

i guess i'm ending up with an unsubsidized loan.

spring holidays.

2009-04-13T18:10:00.002-04:00

every year i rejoice that coffee and chocolate are kosher for passover.

although now i have a headless chocolate bunny in the fridge, which is mildly creepy.

continuing with the creepiness thread, i see a new tab in blogger. it is titled "monetize." this is also creepy.

perhaps not as creepy as a headless chocolate bunny.

comfort of habits.

2009-04-05T20:24:00.002-04:00

the windows box has been brought back into use.

it's not that i don't like my mac. i do. in general, i am perfectly happy to use os x over windows.

except for one thing.

it took me a while to figure it out. but i've been thinking about it more and more as graduate school looms in the fall. also, two years in a row of failed nanowrimo helped.

i'm a wordperfect user. have been for years. totally addicted to the "reveal codes" functionality. it's just the word processing/text tool that i am most comfortable with. i can use word, but i don't like it. i've been trying out scrivener for my novels, but it is a little too much for me, and the features i really wanted don't work the way i want them to.

so today, we went to microcenter, and purchased an iogear dvi/usb + audio kvm switch.

after a few mishaps, we got it installed, and it works perfectly. keyboard, mouse, monitor. i haven't tried audio yet, but that's because in general, i do not allow my computers to make noise. i'm really surprised, to be honest. it's a pleasant surprise, granted, but it's definitely surprise. kvms tend to be finicky, and this one is switching between a mac and a home-built windows desktop (i can't bring myself to actually call it a pc. technically, macs are also personal computers. plus, now they're even intel-based). but now i'll be able to use wordperfect again, plus play games using my nice wireless mouse and digital input to my monitor.

all this just because i'm only comfortable with an ancient piece of software.

if i'm not careful, i'll turn into my dad.

update.

2009-03-28T21:31:00.001-04:00

congestion levels are going down and energy levels are coming up.

cough is still lingering, however.

in other news, my tulips are sprouting. this is my second time attempting to overwinter bulbs in a pot, and i was afraid they had died again.

happy spring.

sickness.

2009-03-21T10:01:00.002-04:00

being sick is too much work. what with the cough and sneezing and chills and drugs and cough drops and fever and sleeping and the constant imbibing of hot liquids and vitamin c, bah. fuck it all.

i'm ready to get better. c'mon immune system, do your thing.

happy purim.

2009-03-08T17:56:00.004-04:00

this is why i don't bake. i made such a mess.

but the cookies turned out well (this is a picture of them before they went into the oven). nomnomnom.

for the pedantic among you, yes, i am aware purim doesn't start until tomorrow night. but i have to work tomorrow, so hamentaschen were made today.

liturgical ignorance.

2009-02-18T17:27:00.002-05:00

i come from a mostly non-liturgical background. well, from a christian perspective. jews have a fairly sophisticated and well-developed liturgy. but my church background never really featured things like incense, ashes, holy water, altar boys, etc.

however, since i've been working for a church, i've had to venture into the scary world of church supply websites.

i don't think i've seen so many words i don't know since i was learning how to read.

the following are a list of words currently categorized under the "wtf?" label (yes, i can click and see pictures, but they are still wtf):

Ambry
Ciboria
Monstrance
Ostensoria
Paraments
Patens
Pyxes

another one that gave me pause was "Cruets" but at least i know what a cruet is.

i think it's off to my favourite online resource for new words

v-day

2009-02-14T21:47:00.001-05:00

home alone on valentine's day.

he's out spinning at a gay club tonight.

somehow, i don't think anyone reading this is surprised.

what's for dinner?

2009-02-09T19:00:00.002-05:00

with roasting chickens, organic leeks, and potatoes all on sale last week, the stage was set for a perfect winter dinner.

step 1: roast a whole chicken

step 2: strip the meat off the bones and store for future use (chicken salad, chicken soup, chicken fried rice, etc)

step 3: simmer the carcase with an onion and a carrot in water until all the water becomes a rich stock. strain out the bones, gelatinous bits (ew!), vegetables and discard.

step 4: rinse the sand out of the leeks carefully and peel the potatoes. cut the leeks and potatoes into thin slices.

step 5: heat butter and oil in a pot until over medium-high heat until fragrant. saute the leeks and potoatoes

step 6: when the leek slices are wilted and the potatoes are beginning to brown, pour in enough chicken stock to make a good soup. add a bay leaf or two and simmer until the potatoes are cooked through.

step 7: pour the soup into a blender and puree until smooth, thinning with a little milk or white wine if too thick. return to heat and simmer again.

accepted.

2009-01-19T14:54:00.008-05:00

got the phone call this afternoon.

i've been provisionally accepted, assuming i get a tetanus vaccine and test negative for tuberculosis.

at least the weight is off.

commence freakout in 10... 9... 8... ;)

also, it is snowing this afternoon. they came by and salted and plowed this morning. you can see a little salt left there on the ground (this is a view from our office). didn't do much good, apparently. it's a good thing i'm home from work today, or i wouldn't even have gotten that phone call. and the snow is pretty.

unspoken rules.

2009-01-02T20:59:00.002-05:00

i have recently, as in in the past few months, been getting a lot of calls from numbers i don't recognize on my cellphone. i am at the point now where i have had this number long enough, that if your number doesn't come up from my phonebook on my caller id, i'm not going to answer. it's very frustrating to hear, "oh, wrong number," on the other end. repeatedly. like, a couple times a week. i've actually gotten into fights with people about, yes, this is my number, and yes, i've had it for several years now (2001, to be exact).

the really frustrating thing about this is that, according to my unanswered calls log, the same numbers keep calling me. but they never leave a message. is there some unspoken rule that if someone calls your cellphone, you're supposed to call the number back? see, i'm not real good with these social expectations.

the reason i ask is because this happens at work a lot. people will call and say, "did someone from this number call me?" when i am on the phones, i usually respond, "we have about 30 people on staff. did you get a voicemail message?" and, of course, they usually say, "well, yeah," because we are a business, and when we call someone, it's usually for a reason that has something to do with disseminating information. so i say, "would you mind listening to it and calling back and telling me who called you?" and they do.

but come on. i really don't understand this whole thing. why don't you listen to your voicemail? do people really, honestly, expect that whomever they called who didn't answer will just call back because the number appeared on their caller id? and when was this agreed on?

speculations in the dark.

2008-12-30T17:36:00.002-05:00

happy mid-winter holidays, everyone.

it's back to being dark and cold, as it is every winter, hemispheres notwithstanding. i've never heard what the earliest british settlers in australia thought of christmas in high summer. i wonder if there was a movement to celebrate it in june. considering the original birth it celebrates probably originally happened in march or april, it wouldn't have been any less accurate.

i am rambling, yes.

i don't normally make new year's resolutions, eschewing the practise as a feel-good activity with little meaning behind it. january first is an artificial date anyway, and our western european numbering of years is equally meaningless. i mean, we all saw what attention the cosmos paid to the misnumbered anno domini 2000.

however, the solar-calendar year does provide benchmarks, however artificial, for janus-like hindsight and forward-looking speculation. this past year was a tumultuous one, and the upcoming year looks equally eventful. most prominently, i am dangling in painful indecision, having applied to graduate school just before the holidays, therefore delaying the acceptance decision while everyone uses their time for much more amusing activities.

also this year, i discovered the amazing cost economy of cooking an entire chicken. i must do this more often. when divided on a meal for meal basis, it is cheap. we like cheap.

oh yeah, and we had an election. i did vote. i've become distressingly civic-minded. i'll be running for office next. or not. maybe after i've graduated. assuming i'm even accepted. see how this is consuming my mind? i don't like uncertainty.

i'm ok with change, however. school, government, job (oh yeah, my job changed), provided it's not drastically abrupt, i can deal. what remains to be seen, of course, is whether there will be any change at the government level. i'm not engaging in much speculation about that, preferring my jaded, cynical, gen x stance. the man is an excellent speaker and a consummate politician. but government has been made into an industry and has a fair amount of self-preservation tendencies.

speaking of government, i mostly got money for christmas/hannukah gifts. i think i will buy clothes and books.

what's for dinner?

2008-12-15T18:14:00.003-05:00

you know how they say it's a bad idea to go grocery shopping when you're hungry? apparently, it's also a bad idea to cook when you're bored. i've been home sick from work all day, and had to scrounge up something for dinner while he is taking his philosophy final. not having the energy to cook something intensive, i started winnowing through my cupboards.

i think i'll call this "christmas nachos." hey, why not?

canned tuna
tortilla chips
mayonnaise or miracle whip
tabasco chipotle hot sauce
ground cumin
black pepper
salsa
cheese (grated or thinly sliced)
canned or cooked black beans
baby spinach

1. combine the tuna, mayonnaise, hot sauce, cumin, and black pepper in a bowl. mash with a fork until uniform.

2. arrange the tortilla chips on a microwave-safe plate in a single layer.

3. top the chips in the following order: tuna, black beans, salsa, spinach, cheese.

4. microwave on high for about 1 1/2 minutes, or until the spinach is wilted and the cheese is melty.

mmm... melty.

this is a little protein-heavy, but otherwise surprisingly balanced meal. the only problem is that you end up with a lot of leftover ingredients, so it doesn't do much for the using-up-the-leftovers thing.

upgrading.

2008-12-07T13:18:00.002-05:00

on black friday, we joined the ranks of the HDTV set.

our tv had been fucked up for ... at least a year and a half, i guess. maybe even longer. we turn it on about once a month. sometimes, it was fine, like around the end of october when we watched casino royale without a glitch. other times, it was not so happy, like when we were trying to play mario kart with friends, and it decided we wanted to watch a dvd instead. and then maybe cable. and then mario kart again. and then cable. and then a dvd. and then cable. and then it needed all its channels re-programmed. and then there were the times when it turned itself on randomly. and then off. and then on. and then off. in quick succession. eventually, we took to just leaving it unplugged and plugging it in whenever we wanted to watch anything.

so, with the digital broadcast switch coming up, and a possessed television, we decided to take advantage of victims of the poor economy and buy an HDTV at a ridiculous discount (we missed the even deeper newegg.com discount because we were doing research).

also, we bought a PS3 to go with it using another black friday bundle discount.

surprisingly, there isn't much buyer's remorse. it was sort of more than we can really afford (a savings withdrawal is forthcoming), but we both agreed that if we were going to do it, we were going to do it right, and buy a nice tv now instead of a cheap, shitty one now and then a nice one down the line. the PS3 has a surprisingly effective upscaler for both games and DVDs, and the tv itself has a pretty nice scaler, making standard def broadcast TV and wii games also look pretty good (the only disappointment is okami, which is apparently too detailed and pretty to upscale well). yay for playing 4-player mario kart and actually being able to see what you're doing.

it even fits on our old ikea tv stand.

next bit of research: what do you do with an old CRT TV that you are unable to donate because it's got a fucked up logic board?

happy thanksgiving.

2008-11-27T13:09:00.003-05:00

mmm...tryptophan, carbs, and alcohol.

and unless i decide not to sleep or something for the next 3 days, i've lost nanowrimo again. stupid jobs requiring actual work in the office instead of writing a novel.

also, we may have finally given up on our tv and may have to take advantage of black friday sales. ugh.

but hey. food!

paradox.

2008-11-09T20:57:00.004-05:00

so. the next president of the united states will not be white.

the interesting thing to me is that, despite touting this as the inauguration of a "post-racial" america, we are, in fact, more obsessed with race and racial identity than ever, whether it be our own, our neighbour's, or the president-elect's mixed-racial identity. i think that's actually causing people a fair amount of consternation. just as there are those who are hailing him as "america's first black president," there are those equally determined to point out that he has a white mother. if we really were inaugurating a post-racial united states, we would be open and comfortable with a president who has a mixed-race background.

but we're not, see. historically, people with one white parent and one black parent were considered black. they were kept with the rest of the slaves. they were denied the rights their white parents enjoyed. now, more than ever, a biracial identity is impossible.

he's trying. you have to give him credit. he's widely disseminating pictures of himself with his mother and grandmother. he left race as much as possible out of his campaign. that doesn't stop people from making it the main talking point in his electoral victory (all-important questions about the presidential puppy aside).

we're trying too. we're trying to convince ourselves that we have finally arrived at a nation that judges people not by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character (ahem). i mean, hell, we voted him into office right? no one can argue that progress has not been made. but i don't think it's been made as far as racial identity goes. we're still not comfortable with multi-racial identities. we're still obsessed with the identity that's been handed down by the past. we're still segregated by geography (visit any major american city), religion (visit any american church or mosque(1)), education (visit any american private university), and the culture that results from these divisions.

but if barack obama is right about one thing, he's right about hope. we can hope that we have just taken a giant step towards ignoring the colour of not just everyone else's skin, but also our own.

(1) to those of you complaining right now, i'm not going to list here synagogues since jews tend to be a race defined by their religion, or buddhist and hindu temples since actual worship at those locations still tends to be defined by the cultures that produced them. it's telling, however, that any conversation about asians in america, and to a lesser extent hispanics, is absent from this new insistence on our new, "post-racial" nation.

distractions.

2008-11-05T22:02:00.002-05:00

so i stayed up late last night and watched the election results. i don't care where you stand politically, you have to admit that barack obama is one of the most eloquent politicians this country as produced in decades.

and i'm 2000 words behind in my novel.

d'oh.

yes! i'm planning to vote tomorrow!

2008-11-03T19:11:00.002-05:00

now stop calling me!

i hope you are too. in the meantime, this is a fun and fascinating article. i read it on my lunch break today.

and again.

2008-11-02T17:23:00.002-05:00

it's november. time to try to write another 50,000 words. last year i only made 13,096. first year in 4 that i failed.

wish me luck.

and so it begins.

2008-10-22T20:39:00.003-04:00

came home today to find the first political robo-call on my answering machine. dammit. i have got to move to california or something. so sick of living in a battleground state.

we haven't, at least, been getting the nasty ones. at least not yet. this one was about "a woman's right to choose." and then, you know, BALEETED. i already know who that's for. don't need to sit through the whole thing. ahem. if they're going to do robo-calls, they could at least make them interesting or unpredictable. also, maybe do a little demographic research. under 35? yeah. gets most political info from teh intarwebz. not automated phone calls.

i was hoping they'd hold off a little longer. 2 weeks to the election. sigh.

too soon.

2008-10-07T22:15:00.002-04:00

first virus of the season.

i feel miserable. not, unfortunately, so miserable that i could justify using a sick day. i hate this in-between sick. i'd rather have a damn flu with fever and everything than this crappy cold.

bleah.

celebrations.

2008-10-01T20:29:00.001-04:00

happy new year. it is 5769 as of, well, monday night.

also, happy birthday to me.

what's for dinner?

2008-09-24T20:03:00.003-04:00

"do you just make these up?" she asked me.

"yes."

middle-eastern-style kabobs

1lb steak (i happened to have rib-eye in the freezer, so that's what i used)
2 green bell peppers
1/2 onion
1 pint cherry or grape tomatoes
4 cloves garlic (i like garlic)
extra virgin olive oil
red wine vinegar and/or lemon juice (i don't have any lemons at the moment)
to taste: ground cumin, ground coriander, salt, black pepper, rosemary and oregano (fresh, preferably ...i should plant some oregano next year)

1. combine the cumin, coriander, salt, pepper, herbs, olive oil, and vinegar in a dish or plastic bag.

2. cut the steak into 1" cubes, trimming off excess fat.

3. marinate the meat for at least an hour to overnight.

4. when the meat is nearly finished marinating, cut the onion and peppers into 1" square slices.

5. thread the onion and pepper slices, whole tomatoes, and meat onto skewers, alternating as your whimsy takes you.

6. pour the marinade over the kabobs.

7. grill or broil using high heat so the meat sears. continue cooking to desired doneness.

8. serve with rice, couscous, or flatbread.

happy equinox.

2008-09-22T07:42:00.002-04:00

today is the first day of fall.

or spring, i suppose, depending where you are.

in other news...

2008-09-06T15:59:00.005-04:00

my 9 year old aloe plant is undergoing asexual procreation. i don't know what suddenly caused it to start sprouting now, but there it is.

it lives in the bathroom to protect it from the cat. aloes and cats are apparently natural enemies.

i bought it back in 1999 in a farmer's market in montreal. it's lived through 2 countries, and 6 moves. quite frankly, i'm surprised it's still alive. not only is it alive, it's apparently feeling quite vigorous.

from what i can find online, i need to wait until the sprout is about 4 inches, by which point, it should have developed its own root system. then i carefully separate it and re-pot it by itself. this ought to be interesting.

family values.

2008-09-03T18:43:00.003-04:00

i've been trying to stay away from this, but it's getting ridiculous. i will try to be as tasteful as possible. warning: a rant does follow. i may offend you. if you genuinely think i'm wrong, please let me know.

it has recently come out in the last few days that the 17-year-old daughter of john mccain's running mate is 5 months pregnant. what's mostly troubling about this to me is that any and all defense of her that i can find consists of, "but she's not going to abort!"

honestly, who cares?

let's talk about the mother. let's talk about teen pregnancy. let's talk about low birth weight, birth complications, life-altering circumstances. let's talk about the difference between a white, affluent, middle-class teenager getting pregnant and an inner-city minority teenager getting pregnant, and the example the former sets for the entire nation. hey, while we're at it, let's talk about a family, a white, middle-class, educated family where the mother and her daughter are pregnant at the same time (do the math... bristol is 5 months pregnant and her little brother is 4 months old). let's talk about what that communicates to women, about women, about parenthood and femininity. let's talk about a society obsessed with sex, a society that values women on their sexual attractiveness and availability, a society that equates love with sex.

why isn't anyone asking if bristol palin is going to college? or how about her soon-to-be husband? why isn't anyone talking about these young people at all? why is all the focus on the fetus?

here's a dirty little secret: heterosexual intercourse doesn't have to lead to pregnancy. really. it doesn't. there is no way that any affluent, middle-class girl who's fucking her boyfriend has to get pregnant. none. especially not if you have health insurance. birth control is fucking cheap. condoms are cheaper. unwanted pregnancies should, quite frankly, be unknown in the u.s. today. i am tempted, some of these days, to say that if you get pregnant and you didn't want to, then you are either a) selfish b) lazy c) ignorant or d) infused with a superficial, false-nostalgic view of sex and relationships. i feel sorry for people in the last two categories, and i don't think they (the categories) should exist.

i was raised an evangelical. let me tell you something, pregnant 17-year-olds are not part of the "family values" platform. i never, thank god, suffered through "abstinence-only" education. abstinence has its place. no one in their right mind can argue that the best way to avoid the problems or side effects of sex (read: diseases and babies) is not to not have sex. but i always wondered about the mindset of parents who didn't want their kids to know other ways to prevent them. when are they supposed to learn? between the wedding and the wedding night? "here are some condoms, honey, let me teach you how to use them before you check in to the hotel tonight." seriously? we're not living on farms anymore.

i don't think the poor girl should have been walloped all over the national news, but obviously, her parents don't agree. either that, or they have no idea how to handle the media. it's bristol's life, and she made decisions, and now she's going to have to live with them, but she's also 17, and she has to live with her mother's decisions too. this whole situation is monumentally unfair to her. but the conversations that should be happening, aren't. all we're getting is 1-dimensional kerfuffle about abortion. abortion is such a fucking minor question at this point, it's insane that that's all people are talking about.

what's for dinner?

2008-08-20T18:17:00.001-04:00

1 lb tuna steaks
1 T soy sauce
1 T dry sherry
1 T hoisin sauce
1 T sesame oil
1 clove garlic, smashed
1 1" cube piece of ginger, minced.

1. combine all the ingredients except the tuna in a plastic bag or marinating container.

2. add the tuna and coat well. let the tuna sit in the marinade for at least a half hour.

3. grill or broil the tuna steaks to preferred doneness.

4. serve with rice and steamed vegetables, such as broccoli, bok choy, cabbage, etc.