racial memory.

today is the 60th anniversary of the liberation of the auschwitz-birkenau concentration camps. it's an odd day to be jewish, for me. it's really amazing to me how the holocaust has become so fundamental to the jewish identity in the last 60 years, and yet at the same time, we recognize it was just another in the long history of persecution.

when i was probably too young for it, my mother showed me pictures of the camps, and of the people in the camps. if you've never seen them...i don't know if i can describe how it feels (especially when you're about 8 years old) to be looking at what is basically a skeleton with skin on it and be told, "that could have been you." or rather, "this was done to them because they were just like you." i can't remember anymore if the national holocaust museum in washington dc has pictures like that. if they do, i'm sure they're in one of those displays behind ~4 foot high walls so little kids can't get traumatized.

what's really strange is that i've never heard that any of my family died in the camps, although i'm pretty sure they probably did. by about 1920, all of my immediate family (which is to say, my great-grandparents) was in the states, so if we had relatives who were taken by the nazis, they would have been more distant. and i've been lucky enough to never personally have been on the receiving end of anti-semitism. and yet, the apprehension of hatred or persecution is still built in. so you have this collective memory built up behind you that makes you get nervous when you put the hannukah candles on the kitchen table in front of a window. or something as simple as doing your grocery shopping becomes an act of defiance because you walk up to the supermarket counter with a cart full of boxes and cannisters stamped "kosher for passover." and then you kick yourself for being ridiculous and you insist that nobody is going to notice, nobody is going to care, we're in the u.s. of freaking a. in the 21st century, dammit. stop tearing your clothes.

and then you see the pictures, and you remember your mother's sister sold her house because of an anti-semetic neighbour. and maybe the jumpiness is justified.

more snow. and then some.

so, apparently, i posted too soon. for about 24 hours, from late saturday morning to late sunday morning, we acquired another 12 inches of snow. and then yesterday, "40% chance of flurries in the afternoon" turned into yet another inch of snow in an hour and a half. and then flurries, yes. for another few hours.

this almost caused my friend's plane from heathrow to be re-routed to newark at the last minute. it is an absolutely amazing feeling to be crawling down towards the airport at 35 miles per hour or so on a 6-lane expressway and have the phone system at the airport tell you that instead of 7:14pm, it will now be coming in at 9pm. and then, 20 minutes later, to be telling you 7:55pm.

but it all came out in the end. and we have a lovely snowscape to greet him with. as well as horrendous driving conditions. more snow tonight. remind me not to grumble about winter again. yeesh.

unfortunate headline of the day.

Prostate Cancer Study Links Detection in Men to Their Size

they mean the man's body weight. someone needs an editor, i think.

weekend.

it's friday night and there's a snowstorm coming. fuck the diet. i want fat and carbs, dammit.

habemus boots.

yay! boots! lightweight (for boots), flexible sole, leather, and warm. what an amazing thing. apparently timberland still makes practical shoes; they just refuse to advertise the fact on their website.

i'm debating attempting to waterproof the leather. it doesn't say it's waterproof, unlike the runners-up last night (lightweight, flexibility, and arch support won out over waterproof, more ankle protection, and bouncy). also, the leather is, um, napped, i guess. not suede, but still...fuzzy. they say they're "abrasion-resistant," and the metal lacing things are advertised as "rustproof," so i assume the boots are meant to get wet. and, you know, they're leather. leather is pretty waterproof on its own, isn't it?

anyone know anything about the intrinsic waterproofing capabilities of nubuck? dictionary.com is no help.

Main Entry: nubuck
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: an aniline-dyed leather with its finished surface buffed to a slight nap or suede-like appearance

snow.

it snowed yesterday. finally. a real snow. i don't really mind winter, even the dark and the cold and all that, but if it doesn't snow, i just get irritated. there's only so much dead greyness you can take before you cry out for a good, fluffy snowfall.

some people don't like snow because it gets in the way. while i admit that's not my favourite part of it, and it's cold and wet and can make you abso-fucking-lutely miserable if you get caught in enough of it as it freezes in your hair and melts in your eyes and nose and ears, it's still pretty. and it's like, "ah, winter is finally here." snow is insidious that way. you can justify bundling up and scaring the suburbanites, which somehow just doesn't work as well when it's 8F (-13C, windchill of -1F/-18C) outside, but there's no snow on the ground.

i need boots, though. luckily a friend found me walking home last night and gave me a ride most of the way, but my feet were still cold and my jeans were damp by the time i got home. i had to throw out my boots because after only 2 winters in the frozen north, the sole started peeling away from the leather and they were leaking in the toes. however, light mesh walking sneakers don't do anything in the way of wind protection, and they don't protect your ankles from damp, snow-impregnated jeans. also the manufacturer of my previous pair of boots has stopped making practical boots and now makes ghetto fashion boots. sigh. must find a pair of boots!

i'm just good that way.

i was having a conversation with a friend the other day about the golden globes. apparently natalie portman exuded "squickiness" when she accepted the award for her role in "Closer." i commented that i had seen neither the movie nor the award show. i spent sunday evening in a tub with some hot water, a book, and a glass of wine.

the general consensus was that that was a better idea ;)

hardware.

i have a new mouse. it is optical. and the right button actually works. whee!

math 101

mr. president, members of the global media, welcome to math 101.

President George W Bush has said his re-election has vindicated his administration's policy on Iraq.

Mr Bush said there was no need to hold any of his officials accountable for mistakes or misjudgements in pre-war planning or managing the aftermath.

"And the American people listened to different assessments made about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the two candidates, and they chose me, for which I'm grateful."

now, let us explain something. when you only win 51% of the vote, that is to begin with hardly what one would call a ringing endorsement of your policies. and if you continue looking at the exit polls, how could mister compassionate conservatism himself forget that now-very-famous 21% of the people who voted said that moral values were most important to them? that combines to be at least 72% of the population who either disagreed with the policies on iraq, or who just didn't care.

really, i just wish the stupid reporter or interviewer or whoever had pointed that out. i mean, seriously, how hard is to it just say, "you know, 49% of the population didn't vote for you. that doesn't give you much margin for accountability there."? bah. someone needs to hire me, obviously ;)

finally.

we get the car back this afternoon. the accident was almost a month ago. shit. i mean, they do good work, but i'm not sure it could be any slower.

amusingly, the dealership somehow talked the insurance adjustor to also cover the scratches on the roof that were there before, and the dent in the rear door. since the accident was on the passenger side, they were "consistent with the other damage." heh. oh well, at least the insurance is covering it. we got the second cheque last night, just in time to get the car today. whee!